Hi, if you’re reading this (and I think I can safely assume you are) you may be questioning the title saying something like “Nerds don’t rule the world at all, if anything we are a minority.” I have to disagree; minorities don’t have near the limelight we do, even if our limelight might be a little more sour than the rest. If we were a minority we would be made fun… ok maybe that’s not a good example. If we were a minority we would be seen as “weird”… ok maybe we are a minority, but definitely a major one. I personally think that we have it quite well (or at least had it well) but there is something on the horizon, it’s not a bird, it’s not a plane, it’s a proposition.

            “You haven’t explained why you said we rule the world yet.” I’m aware don’t interrupt me. As I was saying; there is a change happening in our world that has been slowly moving our way for a very long time and I think it has finally reached a point in our favor, but is it really in our favor? You have to admit that we are much more in the forefront then we have been in years, I just think we don’t like what we see so we ignore it as having anything to do with us. Horror and monsters used to be a “nerd” thing now it’s the epitome of cool (yes I’m talking about what you think I’m talking about); it’s just not what it used to be. We imagined a less “sparkly” vampire and a less “dreamy” werewolf (ugh, I feel sick after using the word ‘dreamy’ to describe a werewolf) but it was us who brought the creature-features into popularity. No cool person walks into blockbuster (I could just leave it at that) and asks for “The Evil Dead” or the 1932 “Dracula” but I did… um… I mean we did (and no they didn’t have them). To use a more recent example can you name any cool kids who were even reading books however many years ago, let alone a book about vampires?
            Wizards used to be… ok they still aren’t popular, but Harry Potter and The Lord of The Rings are. Again, same thing with Twilight, books about wizards and ancient mythology weren’t cool until the movies came out. The movie field in general is definitely controlled by us, at least the summer ones are (beggars can’t be choosers). The whole summer is run by action, adventure, super-hero, children’s, and even a little sci-fi. All those are most definitely put in a nerdy category (look for the Muppets trailer on our page if you don’t believe the kids genre is ours too) but yet when summer roles around everyone goes to see the latest superhero reboot regardless. Spiderman even got a Broadway musical done by Bono and The Edge; despite how horrible that sounds you have to admit that is pretty cool, well cool isn’t the right word but you know what I mean. If you don’t want to believe we’re popular fine, but un-popular groups don’t get their annual get-togethers talked about on the news (yes they talk about comic-con on the news now) or huge sitcoms based on their lives (even if it’s not a realistic view it’s still a view).

            Since the 50’s the term “nerd” has been used as a derogatory term (first appearing in a Dr. Seuss book in 1950 and used as a slang term in 1951) and since the very first cliché we’ve been telling people what we aren’t. We don’t all sleep in Superman pajamas, speak to each other in klingon (well not regularly), and wear Buddy Holly glasses with tape on the bridge, but everyone else thinks we do and we’ve learned to get over it and carry on. This cliché has been insulting for a very long time but recently I’ve noticed the extreme popularity of all this, we still aren’t cool but the image people made for us to fit in has! Suddenly Buddy Holly glasses are not only cool but “hipster”, the term referring to someone who rides on whatever is hip, our style (that we never really had) is now beyond cool! I was recently at a store in Downtown Disney and everywhere I saw t-shirts that said “I love nerds” and had “nerd-ified” versions of Disney characters. I’ve seen shirts like this before but never at a reputable dealer like Disney (that’s not a joke I still consider Disney reputable); Wal-Mart has had lots of stupid shirts like that but this was Disney and I couldn’t believe it. Due to the recent back to school sales at stores I saw a lot more folders and notebooks then normal; one that I kept seeing is a picture of a geeky looking boy or girl (Buddy Holly glasses, braces, etc…) and has nerd like things written on the cover. Why is this stuff popular? I can’t wrap my head around it; the closest thing to a conclusion I can muster is that hipster-dom has gone younger then I could have imagined. Even that isn’t a satisfying answer but nothing else seems to fit, it just leaves me both angry and dumbfounded.
                        Mystery Science Theater 3000 (NO!! don’t drag MST3K into this! You already ruined all monsters and wizards for me don’t take this too) is one of my all time favorite shows. Many an evening has been spent watching the wise cracking trio tear dreadful films apart; whether it be Joel or Mike, Bill or Trace, even Kevin or J. I love this show. Ever since I first watched the show horrible movies have been a passion of mine (I actually own “The Happening”), but I’m not the only one. My extreme sarcasm and love of all things hate worthy is shared by many others, most noteworthy, the hipsters. Now when I tell people that I do this or even watch a show they’ve never heard of I get called hipster (as opposed to the creepy looks and name calling it used to get me), Mystery Science isn’t hipster, but all people who do that are now hipsters as well as almost all non-mainstream entertainment (which MST3K certainly is). Am I saying to not like this? Not at all, quite the opposite in my opinion, we need to own it. Why can’t nerd things be nerdy anymore? It’s not like I enjoyed being called a nerd but the alternative is much worse especially when I’m not what I’m being called. I’d rather people hate me for who I am versus hating me for who I’m not.
            This sort of culture obviously isn’t actually us but they look like us from afar and the suits controlling it are really good at distorting the images. Whenever anything gets popular (even if it’s not a good popularity) suddenly all these look-a-likes are found (or created). The hippies were cool so a bunch of people in an office somewhere made a fake hippie based on the fake image of fake hippies, his name was Shaggy. The 70’s had fake Christians, the 80’s had fake electro-pop, the 90’s had fake punks, and now we have fake nerds based on fake nerds for fake nerds. Real hippies were not at all cool, they eventually became anti-hippie (see: “We’re only in It for the Money”) and moved onto other groups so they could be taken seriously; so hippies weren’t cool, just bandanas and acid. In the same way nerds aren’t cool just big glasses and Batman.
            I know this doesn’t sound like ruling the world because it technically isn’t; that would imply we have some sort of control. We don’t actually have anything to do with it anymore but the false prophets that sold their all inclusive twist on our culture controls it. The final proposition is this – do we embrace this pseudo-popularity and take full advantage or do we go back to our humble position in the back of the bus where the real people are as the cool kids snicker at us. Without popularity we lose all the fake people but we also lose our endorsement deals and we go back to our day jobs. I personally think we’re fine where we are, we are the most humble of all the unlikely success stories. We aren’t going to do any Zappa stuff against the fake hippies and we aren’t going to try and make fun of MTV on Tops of Pops; we’ll just go to the movies like everyone else and try to imagine that all the people doing this in a skin deep way are just new and that we can convert them fully when they’re ready. If this lasts the way it is, we’ll persevere and make it out on the other side with our head held high; if it doesn’t, then we’ll make it to the other side with our head held high and a little less of an audience, but we don’t care. We aren’t in it for the money or the fame but for fun, we don’t shove our ideals down your throat but just hope you’ll join us in a little R&R with some D&D.
            The hardest part of this to write is what will happen, because I don’t really know. I personally think that we can’t do anything anyway so we should enjoy what we can and we’ll always have our own people and things to go back to, unfortunately that’s just not as fun to imagine. It would be more fun to imagine a world actually controlled by us where we (the real ‘we’) became the norm. “Oh no, he’s going to spend four paragraphs on what that would be like!” No, I’m going to let you do that because I can’t imagine myself ruling popular culture so I can’t imagine all of us doing it. I think this will all fizzle out (maybe “granny glasses” will be the next hipster thing) and it’ll all remain the same except there won’t be any “I love nerds” shirts or folders.
            So, what is the lesson in all this? Is there really a lesson? Is this a really disappointing ending to this article (YES!!)? How many more questions can I make in succession to each other? Can anyone really answer these questions (Ha, you thought I couldn’t fit another one in)? In my opinion what we really need to do is be nerds. If we can claim our lost land as our own again we won’t have to deal with this anymore; I’m really tired of being made fun of for the totally wrong reasons, I want my Kermit the Frog shirt to be ridiculed for it’s sad geeky-ness not for it’s “ironic hipster” appeal when it is neither ironic nor hipster. Obviously I’m joking (granted poorly, but joking), I want us to be popular but not in the way Lady Gaga is (for those of you reading this two years from now she was a pop star) or any other shooting ball of gas but a love and respect that may not be embraced but at least accepted. I’m not shooting for a sort of indie status either, I don’t like when people think success is a bad thing and that I need to keep my favorite music, movies, and TV to myself so that it can be my little step stool of superiority. I think that everyone should read comics, watch Star Trek, and discuss theories of time travel, but the world just isn’t right; if it were, these things would be normal and accepted. I’m fine with all this just being our little thing and I’ll try to tell my friends about it when they will listen, but until then I know where to find others.
            Remember this is not fact but the way I see it, you could see it differently and that is fine. I hope you will voice your opinions and discuss this with me (this site isn’t just news but discussion). I hope you don’t find any of this offensive for that is not the point at all, please take it as informative and not condemning. Thank you all for reading this and I hope to see you again soon.